gfdi08rs EDIITTTZZZZ

not really.
i'm going to cut to the chase.
music.
we all love it, and i need to tell you what to love. because you know NOTHING.
here's my list of the top 11 spices that the colonel put into kfc.



# 11. The Bridal Shower - Work

i love post-pop. i love it more than TPL.



#10. Passion Pit - Chunk of Change (EP)

after following this band for some time previous to this release, getting this album is like getting a lock of hair from someone you are stalking. even if it's not great, it's everything you hoped for.



#9. Man Man - Rabbit Habits

still haven't seen them live, but this album makes me want to so much more. almost unbearably so.



#8. of Montreal - Skeletal Lamping

hate on it all you want, it's the true child of "Icons, Abstract Thee" and "Hissing Fauna."
hey, i hated it at first too.



#7. Starfucker - Starfucker

i'm not sure where this band came from, but it fit perfectly into the collection of new music i was listening to. it's refreshing to hear an album that hasn't been hyped.



#6. Vivian Girls - Vivian Girls

i hate female singers (it's a sexist thing) but i love this. that's gotta count for something.



#5. No Age - Nouns

i REALLY hope punk makes a comeback.



#4. Ponytail - Ice Cream Spiritual

just listen to the album. it cannot be explained.



#3. Spiritualized - Songs In A & E

i made love to this album.


#2. Deerhunter - Microcastle / Weird Era Continued

i liked this band until this album. now i love them.


#1. Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles

best new artist, best live act, hottest lead singer. obviously my top choice


most undeserving of any praise: coldplay - viva la vida

there you have it. all my spices.
-Jizzy T

the archives

i am now home, in west hartford ct, and have begun working for my father at Johnson Gage and Co.
they make things.
they have blueprints for all of these things.
i take the blueprints out of a drawer and scan them into a computer.
i do this a couple hundred times a day.

it's a pretty sweet job.
i don't have to do any heavy labor, and i get to listen to talk radio all day.

i really hope that next semester brings new things.
i'm going to join SUBOG, and maybe some other stuff.
if anyone knows of anything cool to do at uconn other than drink and smoke, let me know.
actually having money will also be a luxury that i'm not used to.
we'll see how things turn out.
obviously, leefers, i will keep you posted.

don't expect many posts until january 18th or so, because i will be home and working, and probably not doing anything interesting.

sacrifice a newborn to jesus for me
-Jizzy T

the party mix

i am blogging from a party.

in my own room.

that's how anti-social i am.

well, like you know, i am done with finals, and i am looking forward to break.

even if "break consists of working for my dad everyday, it's still a break from classes, which is good."

johnny wet just set the record for SNOW 118 40-CHUG.

the record: 2 minutes 9 seconds.

if you think you can beat it, come to 118 and try us.

we're some real bastards here.

anyway, i was just discouraged from blogging by maeve, so i think i'll just end this one here.

WATCH THIS

LISTEN THIS

driiiiiiiiiiiiiiink uppppppppppppp naaaoiiii

-Jizzy T

haHA! Exams!

they're over.

now i am going home on saturday and am beginning work for my father on monday.

when people say, "there's no rest for the weary." they mean, "there's no rest for the restless."

if you have it, you don't need it.

if you don't have it, you could never get it.

i'm not sure how my grades will turn out. alot hinged on these exams, but i'm pretty confidant that i'll get off ac-pro sometime soon.

i'll be home all break, and willing to do pretty much anything, so try me.

i'm just working during the day (till 4) and after that, will attempt to enjoy this "break."

whatever.

with a sense of humour.

-Jizzy

between finals break (a.k.a. affirmation of sanity)

long time no blog, eh leefers?

i've been wrapped up in the typical "wait...finals?" scenario.

that doesn't mean that i was not prepared. it just means that there is nothing you can do to prevent the initial shock of finals week. mine even came early in the form of a portfolio due last friday. i'm so lucky.

anyway, it's monday morning, and i just finished my first final, and it was easy enough, considering.

what i'm really worried about is the one i have this afternoon. i'm less prepared, and i'll be on my 26th hour without sleep. not good. stimulants needed.

i am also battling with the extreme temperatures that uconn is throwing at me. it's way below freezing outside, and at least 60 in my room, and i'm having a hard time finding the correct amount of layering that won't result in me getting hypothermia.

nilla got dem goodies fo ya.

there is a light at the end of the tunnel, however.

i'll be done with finals wednesday afternoon, which is going to allow me to drink heavily straight through the weekend. and with the $$$ that i'm getting from my book buy-backs, i'll be straight for beer/cigs/food money. all important items for finals week. 

enough about that depressing shit.

i changed my relationship status on facebook to "in a relationship with jenny cerulean" in an attempt to bring the f-book stalkers out into the open.

it's working.

people are getting upset and confused, and i need that kind of dapraved entertainment this week.

also, i need to keep tabs on the people who are keeping tabs on me. it's only fair.

two of my roommates are graduating this semester.

it's a good thing for them, but leaving uconn life behind will no doubt be difficult.

i know i'm going to miss them.

the good news is that some old friends of wet and myself are moving in.

we'll call them fish and lumba-jack, respectively.

they're real cool guys, and if you stop by my room next semester, you'll surely get to meet them.

i think they're getting too exicted about the move, though.

they're moving in thier refridgerator this afternoon.

finals haven't really even started yet.

but alas, they are moving out of real shitholes.

and when you're coming from a pile of shit, even a new pile of shit can be exciting.

that's a life lesson, leefers. remember that one.

i'm working for the man over break, leefers.

and i mean my dad.

he's a cool guy, and he claims that the works easy, the co-workers are sleazy, and the pay is low...z.

whatever. a free job hookup with a free ride to work everyday AND no weekends?

sounds pretty damn good to me.

(also, i'm brown-bagging lunches. this is supposed to be cool, i think.)

well, good luck trying to get a hold of me for the next 3 days.

i'll be holed up here, studing my brains out.

in constant HOT/COLD.

if i don't make it, tell 'em i went out bitchin'

-Jizzy T

left 4 dead

i'll let the title speak for itself

kinda

so i got some work done today. trying to get ready for finals and all that.

cleaned my desk up a bit. got some

BRAND

FUCKING

NEW

MUSIC.

yeah, all those. (don't overdo it, leefers.)

i also voted for the 2008 Gummy Awards.

not like a give a fuck, or anything.

sometimes bands deserve awards, though.

and you know what, leefers?

it's hard for me to keep up with all my pals.

i can't call every person every day.

but i love surprises, so call me up if you're thinking about me. (unless you're masturbating to the thought of me [just kidding {no i'm not.}])

speaking of which...

my friend lipringgz stopped by my room today.

she had a new member of her crew.

he had a lipring, but his name wasn't lipringgz.

it was all good, but i wasn't paying attention and deleted a bunch of work on my computer.

i had to do it all over again.

it wasn't lipringgz fault, but i said, "i just deleted all my work. you have to leave now so i can do it...again."

everyone was sad.

i could really go for a sandwich right now.

i'll settle for a cigarette.

ok, so we decided to form a gang. my roommates and i.

like all good gangs, there's 5 members.

LOOKS - bustin cocko

MUSCLE - wetty wet

BRAINS - jason

WILDCARD - jizzy

USELESS FEMALE - any of their girlfriends

the point of this is so we all have roles.

looks uses his looks and charm to get shit done.

muscle intimidates and beats on shit to get shit done.

brains makes plans and acts wily to get shit done.

wildcard acts randomly to get shit done.

useless female...anyway, you get the point.

it's all for fun.

first plan: hustle the cafeteria.

let us serve ourselves

-Jizzy T

i won't even MENTION thanksgiving

quote from anders today: "i'm using apostrophes and everything!"
no further explanation is necessary.

so now, i am blogging from ccsu, but i might just up and leave right now.
i really want to avoid traffic (from a certain holiday)

what have i been doing, you ask?
not a whole lot.
trying to kill time before i can go back to uconn and resume the life that is normal for me.
it's not that i don't like being at home. i just feel like an extra in a movie. i'm there, pacing, watching everyone act all important with their "things." ahhhhhh, shit. i guess i'm just out of the groove, maybe. gotta get groovy. also, it is worth noting that i don't have a bed at my mother's house. i sleep on a couch.

i hope you all luv luv luv the new HAND? album art. it's decided upon. so you better like it.
the ep/lp should come out before the end of the semester. anders predicts within a month. i predict...nah. but maybe.

also, you might be wearing the ep design soon. it mights be gettin printed. ON SHIRTS.

not much else to say. don't have alot of $$$ right now, so i'm trying to get by until the winter break. if anyone wants to clue me into a sweet job, i'd love you forever.
on a similar note, i need at one more class to round out my schedule for next semester. thats going to be irritating.

well, enjoy your time with people doing things.
i'll be drinking woodchucks, bitches.

MUSIC

EDIT: i did indeed drive home at 3:00 in the morning. and i learned something.
there are only 4 kinds of people on the road at 3:00 am.

1. drunk people. and not "oh shit, i'm getting pretty fucked up" drunk. we're talking "..."(can't talk because they are FUCKING BLACKOUT DRUNK). drunk. upside to running into these people: sometimes they get freaked out if you drive close to them, and they'll just pull over. it's fun.

2. cops. cops just chill out at 3:00 am. unless you drive pass them burning a flag or firing an uzi out your window, they aren't moving. they are out, however, and easy to spot when there isn't another car in sight.

3. insane people. people who never sleep. people who drive 10 mph on a one lane road in the middle of the night. people who just drive with thier hazards on for no reason. people who wave at you, insinuating that you might be part of their little "gang" of people who do this kinda fucked up shit every night.

4. people who don't like to wait in traffic (me.) i don't think i waited at one stop light my entire way back. it was amazing. nobody on the road (except the 1's & 3's.) and i could just cruise through those beautiful blinking yellows. i feel for those who have to drive tomorrow, mid-day. it's not going to be pretty.

i (still) love you diner lady. you're a "1" in my book.
-Jizzy T

NEW HAND? ALBUM ART LEAKED!!!!!!!!!

the cold

freezing to death is the worst death.
my fingers are the most cold.
i hate the fucking wintertime.

enough about that, leefers, more about...well, me.
i'm home now, and i've been greeted in a typical fashion. my parents are on the verge of a mid-life crisis, and my relatives are acting strangely. except nilla, of course.
i spent the weekend in west hartford, with my father, which was nice. he's a cool dude, and i was minutes away from my pals at ccsu. tonight i drove back to my mothers house, which is also nice, except for my sister yelling while she's stoned. the problem: there is not one fucking thing to do around here.

i plan to use this time efficiently, however.
MONDAY

• MORNING: study for classes, cash checks so that i will have $$$.
• AFTERNOON: practice my djembe playing, and perhaps catch up with some ol buddies.
• NIGHT: hang around my house, talk to my mom, relax.

TUESDAY

...fuck bulletpoints.
i'm doing most of the same thing, but tuesday night i'm going to see my cromwell friends.
LOCATION NON-DISCLOSED.

WEDNESDAY

no fucking idea.

THURSDAY

thanksgiving. i ask: thank who?

FRIDAY

i might just go back to uconn. fuck it.

SOME OTHER DAY

jerk off.

well, there you have it. my totally perfect schedule. if you want to interrupt it, just drop me one on the cellular or on the 'book.

anders, you have my mittens, you bastard.
-Jizzy T

review of m. night shyamalan's "the happening"

REVIEW: why so glum, chum?

ANYWAY
i'm now home for break, leefers, and you know what that means!
lots of time spent with family and no partying with my leefy friends.

i will be (possibly) acquiring a drum kit from a good ol pal.
his name is ben silver.
if you don't know him, then you must not be cool. (or are from the midwest AND not cool)
maybe i'll see him on break. but don't hold ya breath, kid. jk jk lulz.

barq's root beer is the best commercially made root beer in america
the worst, you ask? mug.

i really can't wait to get back to uconn.
so much to do before the end of the semester. so little time.
declaring majors and gettin dem permission numbers. you know how i do.

it seems that people are finding nice attractive people and making it "official."
good for you. (not bitter and lonely)

if you're in a local band (in CT) and would like to play a show with MY band (and some others) please send me an email via:

handmusic5(at)gmail(d0t)com

spam it up, bitches.

nice chatting with you all
time for sleep now.

leefer is not a meme
-Jizzy T

letting it get to me

i've been fucked up lately. leefers, pull up a chair.

i've been disappointed with this semester thus far.

grades are good.

parties are good.

even the ladies are good to me. (i don't deserve it)

but ultimately, i have been searching for a new "real friend."

that is a term open to aLOT of interpretation, but i think its someone who's in the top 10 people you'll tell if you have AIDS. 

top ten people.

think about yours.

i haven't found this person.

i'm finding flaws in close friends that shouldn't bother me.

but they do.

i've been getting angry drunk. (i'm a happy drunk)

gunna try to blog more.

gunna try and get out and meet people more.

if there is a cool group of people hanging around reading this blog, you are an elusive bunch.

also, break soon. would be fun, but i have nothing to do. and i spent all my money.

cash in your chips, cash in your salsa

-Jizzy T

things work out in the end. unless they don't.

short post today, leefers.

not tragically short, though.

last night mushmouth and my new pal matt went to the paradise lounge in boston to see a show.

/vivian girls.

/times new viking.

/deerhunter.

were there.

fun was had. i danced. i layed down to rest. the boucers asked me not to lay down to rest. we hated the masspike. we thought of band names. matt said funny things.

UNRELATED MUSIC

anyway, bitches, i don't have much to say, but i do enjoy a good roll in the hay every once and awhile.

also, PABST TALL BOYS are awesome.

all i do is talk.

reggaetone aint dead, motherfuckers.

-Jizzy T

pretending

"You have your fears, which may become reality. And you have Godzilla, which is reality."

i'm not going to cite that quote, nor should i have to. this past weekend was choc-full of all kinds of stuff.

profound stuff.

lets take a look at it.

FRIDIZZLE:

i got a ride home with my pops, and then went to band practice. we recorded an EP. look out for that shit. then we went to a party, and i drank a forty and immediately afterwards fell asleep. no drunken shenanigans, no nothing. it was one of the most refreshing mornings ever (not sarcastic.)

SAT-UR-N:

after waking, i went to brunch with my dad at the corner pug, and i got some shepherd's pie. (a house specialty)

i was really full after that, so i just layed down and listened to music for awhile. mushmouth (of bridal shower fame) then picked me up, and off to willimantic we went. on the way, we picked up and erin. she made the journey ahead much more bearable. mushy got some haircuts, and we departed for UNIVERSITY, to meet up with kid supreme for a bridal shower show. after a loooooooooooooooooooooong drive with alot of tricky roads, we got there. they played, people watched, nuff said. even i got to guest appear on a few songs. then we made my pants awesome. that's it. lost again, then uconn for the night. for some reason i slept x-tremely well that night... ( ... )

HERE COMES THE SUN

waked up, tried to buy bus tickets back to hartford, failed. dad picked me up again (sorry pops) and we went to the grand-peoples house for dinner with the family. they're always nice, except when they're not. after a yummy dinner, my dad brings me BACK to uconn. i drove on the way there, because he had been doing alot of driving. anyway, that brings us to today, where i didn't do a whole lot. just a little homework.

P.S.

stop talking about internet memes. pretty pretty please?

high fructose corn sizzurrp, bitches

-Jizzy T

children, your best friend's parents are leaving

i have a blog?

oh yeah. i do.

so its been a cool couple of days, leefers.

partied a bit with my fellow HAND? members

(HAND? CAN)

i'm finding more and more that the parties that i go to are the same each time. but this most recent one had a pretty decent fight. i estimate that in a decade, uconn will have descended into a bizzare escape from new york scenario.

i hope i see the day.

im also CONSUMED by GAME

if you have the means, you should aquire it.

except anders. it'll eat your soul like it ate mine.

trying to listen to moar punk music.

writing a short story this week.

try to inspire me leefers. do it.

hard.

halloween has come and went.

good fucking riddance.

i liked my costume this year, but other people's idea of "costumes" really irritates me. i saw one really great costume outside of my group of friends. and it was 5 guys who had painted spots over them, and one with a spinner dangled around his neck.

they were twister.

thats pretty much all, but HAND? might be falling off the wagon again soon.

we might be playing with a local rap artist.

he's pretty fucking cool.

he's cooler than Lil Wayne.

he's cooler than you (probably.)

uptempo venomous poison

-(Howlin') Jizzy T

greetings!

tonight i may pull off a brilliant all nighter.

this (of course) is a horrible idea, but i may have 2 co-conspirators and i'm too hungry to sleep anyway.

so there.

hurumf.

so in the realm of the awesome, 40 Fingers released a single today (or something) and thats just cool.

40 Fingers is a side project of the other 2 members of HAND?

they are good. check em.

the ever thoughtful JWET purchased a publication of poetry for my birthday.

it's quite good.

i may even read it after this post.

WHO KNOWS.

i am deeply upset that i missed The Bridal Shower concert monday. it was disappointing that i couldn't go, but i have no transportation.

i'm sure that it was awesome, though.

my hobo pal katie is sleeping on our couch this evening.

she has no home.

it's kinda pathetic. (pretty fucking pathetic)

halloween is coming.

i want to dress up, but that depends on my success at the mall tomorrow.

wish me luck, bitches.

MOAR MUSIC

A MOVIE?

end post

i fucking love sonic youth

-Jizzy T

we showed you

the HAND? show was a wild success, what with the umbiqious last-minute setlist alterations and pre-meditated nudity. yeah.

keep one eye out for more shows in the future, and expect us to appear randomly in towns near you. it won't be pretty.

back to school after doing non-scholastics all weekend was a harsh awakening.

this afternoon naps were taken, so i think i might be up until the later hours tonight.

the weather has been harsh on my frail body.

hot/cold extremes have me feeling quite feverish. 

and not in a good way.

also, never date a clone of your ex-girlfriend.

BAD CHOICE.

don't have much on the mind right now, which is a good thing.

i'm tired of worrying that i'm not worrying enough.

should i be worrying?

oh dear.

recently i been getting into some really great beers.

check out these brewing companies

THIS ONE.

THAT ONE.

see all the nice things that i give you?

without any thanks.

you ungrateful asses.

another treat for you.

power metal.

for you all to enjoy.

i've been super forgetful lately, so if you don't hear from me, make sure that i'm not drooling in the corner of my room or something.

i wouldn't want that.

also, potential album art.

thoughts?

stop that! it tickles!

-Jizzy T

white whale, holy grail

captain ahab

anyway, i have returning to HOME, and thats where this post is being written from.
i love being home, and i love spending time with my family, but i can't shake this feeling that my real home is at uconn. i just feel...
out of place
here

regardless, i can't fucking wait to play tomorrow.
(if you don't know what i'm talking about...fuck you)
but at the same time i'm kinda nerved up.
fuck it, let's rock.

i got MANY MANY drunk dials tonight, and almost all of them included these things...

1. absurd requests to come and "party with me"
2. commentary on how i'm a (insert expletive) for not being at the party
3. hazy wishes of happy birthday. (it's my birthday)
4. apologizes for #1 and 2
5. detailed descriptions of what they were drinking, and how much.
6. having a side-conversation with me on the line / handing the phone to someone else.
7. hasty, random goodbyes.

i have nothing to say about drunk dialing.
but i do have a list of new cocktails you can try (at your own risk)

THE FORTE
1 parts vodka
2 parts pineapple soda
-drink out of a plastic waterbottle is possible.

THE NILLA
1 parts jagermeister
1 parts dubra
-take shot, writhe in agony, repeat.

THE JIZZY TEA
1 parts arizona Rx energy herbal tonic
1 parts vodka
-perfect for late night studying.

thats all for now. (credit to forte and nilla respectively)

i gotta get some sleep if i want to play a show tomorrow, so have a fun weekend, and to the leefers who are coming to the show:

clothing optional
-Jizzy T

paranoid insomniac goes for a walk

Smoke obscures my vision,

as I force myself not to turn around

Fists clench as cold sweat traces routes down my face

I draw on the cigarette and its glow reveals trembling fingers

How can you be sure you’re really alone?

Pupils pinched in the corners of my eyes

Each breath is a test of restraint

My head spinning, I try again to rationalize

What is the fear of fear?

Wind obscures the music of movement

At the end of my limb, a clock.

Burning down

But still too long to stifle my imagination

Gravel grinds under my heels

I face the background once more

For a moment, my mind relaxes

Streetlights hiss endlessly, basking in omnipotence

Weathered wood creaks and caresses my neck

My mind still barks orders

(A battered lonely madman)

My body rebels

(A smiling glutton)

Eyelids collapse and I am awash in memory

Outlaw moments fill my head, vying for attention

I won’t let the bad ones win

I’m God tonight

For once, I’m not empty

Introduce these thoughts to order

Like many, my reign ends in fire

The hot, smug renegade dies below me

My mortal mind awakens

I’m reminded quickly of my worldly troubles

My freedom is gone

It becomes just another empty bottle

the living dead

she greets me, home

intangible, inert

and restless.

“free me, into the Lord’s embrace”

I won’t

 

these are not your words

“wipe her mouth”

my body moves and I gasp at the sight

her eyes. like wells

empty and wanting

 

a noise! and I quiver

shivering, shaking

she remains still

“wipe her mouth”

quivering hand and dancing cloth

 

my palms bore into my eyes

the humming of the machine

“well then, thats enough”

curse my fate!

“no”

 

jaw clenched I face frozen terror

muscles burn in agony

dilated pupils meet

my lips mouth her name

I look into the eyes of the living dead

bad poetry, oh noetry

lemme tell ya

alice glass is the hottest woman alive (or dead)

(edit: props Nilla)

anyway, i've been listeing to alot of new music lately.

not gunna spill the beans to you leefers right now, though.

also, i have 2 weeks before i have mono!

YEAH!

AWESOME!

thx moose poose <3

HAND? SHOW COMING UP

THAT IS ALL

sorry about the CAPS.

no more in this post.

not one more.

i jammed on my new djembe with jason (of headgun) and his nylon-string baby.

we played outside at 1:30 in the morning and attracted one fan, and one enemy.

the fan came outside and sat and listened.

the enemy yelled at us from the 4th floor window.

who had more balls?

so maybe tomorrow we'll take our art to the union and busk a bit.

depends on the weather and my mood.

arizona rx energy is officially the greatest drink ever made.

(by officially, i meant "according to me")

also, i must say how awesome google blogsearch is.

it allows me to search for obscure music downloads, that i would have never found otherwise.

eh, whatever.

we're all sucking google's dick right now.

(google owns blogger, which is the website that hosts this blog fyi)

so, theres no need to say how awesome google is, they already know when you're thinking it.

never without an opinion on the matter, here is what i think of the google empire.

among free-ware, they reign supreme.

if they make google talk better than pidgin, and buy facebook, they'll own the internet.

other companies: observe google's business model.

they stick a finger in everything, while still retaining thier original appeal: that they have a fucking great search engine. so simply follow these steps...

1. get good at something

2. try something else

3. get good at other thing

4. repeat steps 2 & 3

thats it (thank you chaung-tzu)

my room mate and butt-pal john started a blog.

it's good. read it.

in the next 3 days i'll be doing a beafleef special posts!!!

im posting a poem a day for three days.

these are just poems that i wrote for a creative writing class, but someone suggested i post them, and i'm inclined to agree with them.

so, hopefully i'll remember to post them once a day. it may sound easy to post one post a day. try it, motherfucker. try it.

no class tomorrow. for me. you all still have class. clear? crystal.

-Jizzy T

cum all ye faithful

weekends, are they good for you????????????

well, this weekend i went home

there were some reasons for this

1. to see my family (whom i have not seen since my departure to university)

2. to practice for HAND? (come to our show)

3. to receive treatment for head trama (spend one weekend NOT drunk)

4. TO SEE MOTHERFUCKING HEADGUN IN CONCERT (hell yeah)

so, yesterday, i had practice, and that went well. i wasn't sure if HAND? was going to come together before the show. it looks like we will come through.

like we always do.

after that, i went party-hopping with anders.

it was fun, but none of the parties were fun.

or really parties.

i guess i could've just said that i was hanging out with anders.

today, i woke up and went and bought a djembe.

it's fucking awesome.

nuff said.

after that, i had a get together with my family, which was fun, but also revealed that my family just does the same things over and over again. and they are very fucking boring.

so now i sit here with anders, not doing much

i plead to you.

entertain anders at CCSU

he's lonely on the weekends

unless he's at uconn.

in which case.......come to uconn, i guess.

gonna make this ANOTHER short one, but i have things to not do tonight.

like blogging.

so i'm going back to uconn tomorrow night, and if you have a problem with that...fuck you

also, if you read my blog, you should become an official leefer (see sidepanel-ly thingy ---->)

it comes with the benefit of me knowing that somebody loves me.

and thats more than nothing.

theres a ghost in the trees, he's smiling at you, and you don't know why...

-Jizzy T

study party

WHERE MY LEEFERS AT???

oh, right here.

i had a "party" tonight.

it was supposed to be an "emo study party" where we listened to emo music while we studied. quickly the emo music changed, and i finished my reading. result: drinking.

so first there were beers, then we moved to jungle juice, and then the pong table came out.

damn it all.

there were many guest appearances (thank you faithful friends of jizzy!) and they soon left, with my roommate and myself buzzed and with not much to do.

i'm now listening to an AWESOME BAND and just trying to get to bed at a reasonable hour tonight. that will be a feat if i manage to do it.

i can't handle the awesomeness my life right now.

HAND?......this blog......the list goes on.

anyway, it's gonna be a short one tonight, leefers.

stay tuned, though, you might see a video soon.

i don't know for sure yet.

found a body

-Jizzy T

blogs and booze

here we are, leefers.

here we fucking are.

last night i had a party that was intended to be a fun night with friends that i don't usually see.

i'm not going into detail about what happened, but it seems like every time i party i make a new friend, and lose an old friend. Not good. Not too fucking good.

how come when "the devil made me do it" you don't get in trouble, but when "i followed the word of the lord" you are praised?

shit wasn't you

start pointing fingers at deities

that'll work out niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

anyWAY HAND? RECORDING THIS WEEKEND

DON'T TRY AND CONTACT ME

EXCEPT VIA PIZZA BAGELS

(THAT MEANS YOU CINDY. FOR THE LAST TIME, I CAN"T COME TO YOUR GODDAMNED PARTY.)

MAD people be getting the blog-fever.

love it.

recently, i'm feeling very accepted by society and my friends.

it's kinda invigorating. like a dip in the hot spring.

still searching for a identity, but i think it's a work in progress.

speaking of hair, i got a haircut the other day.

kelly l. gave me a beautiful asymmetrical haircut.

symmetry is for pussies.

rejoice! winter is cumming!

my birthday is cumming! (oct 25th. fuck fuck fuck please don't get me anything)

ugh.

just gonna say this...

know who loves you.

because nobody really tells you that they love you.

it wouldn't be fun if it was easy.

also, sorry for the lack of posts.

i've been busy. PHILOSOPHY MAJORLY BUSY.

you know.

i'll try to give you guys XXX-tra love in the near future.

hey, been trying to meet you

-Jizzy T

well well well well well

this is interesting

it seems like more and more people are getting blogs

and i continue to link to them

in the...side...panel...thing --------->

im sorry for breaking the forth wall for a second there

i try to write these like a one sided conversation as much as possible

got up, went to class today

thats an accomplishment

learned about jesus

it was good

i'm currently being serenaded by jason stickney, of the band headgun

have i linked to them before?

oh well

they have a show coming up, and you should all attend

i'll be there

that should really be reason enough

enough about my own awesomeness

more about my own awesomeness

today i played some rock band 2

it was good

its a fun game

but thats all it is

gonna go to store 24 soon

store 2-4 (pronounced two-four) is a big part of my life

i go there often late at night

to get food, tobacco, sammiches, you know

SOMETIMES

i don't get anything

but thats not very often

recently people have been video blogging

i'm not sure how i feel about it

first of all

you're at the mercy of youtube.com, which is a terrible, evil master

ALSO

there is a certain...je ne sais pas? about typed blogs

i like it

but don't be surpised if you see me vlogging in the near future

also, i don't have a goddamn mac

so no camera

but my roommate john has a webcam

so the reason i haven't vlogged: apathy

there you go

anyway, i have things to do

things to smoke

so i'll let you go early today, leefers

be back tomorrow for summore hearty loving

today, spit on a dog's face (clint eastwood did it)

-Jizzy T

angst: what can it do for me?

this blog will begin after this cigarette

(imagine a 5 minute pause here)

ok

to preface this blog, please read this ----------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

this is important for understanding most of my posts

use it as a guide, if need be

but also be aware that i will not tell you if i'm being serious or not

that's part of the fun

angst

you know what angst is

don't you?

anyway, i'm a HUGE fan of angst

here's why

#1. it makes you look emotional

some people are incapable of emotions

angst is an easy emotion to fake

people lacking a personality -------> interesting introspective person

#2. chicks dig it

what's better than lowering your self-esteem to make chicks want you?

(answer: lowering theirs)

angst does both

#3. hipsters dig it

it's easy to call yourself a "artist" when you are in a permanent emotional struggle

also, being a hipster leaves you empty and fake

KEY ingredients to being angsty

#4. it's easy

nobody wants to TRY to fit in

take your frustration with society and your life

convert to angst

other angsty people will flock to you

problem solved (?)

thats pretty much all for now

but...my pal ryxxui (not real name) is having trouble with linux

all i have to say is

I GOT 99 PROBLEMS, BUT LINUX AIN'T ONE

get angsty, leefers

-Jizzy T

OH! sweet nothing

i feel so fucking vindicated today.

i don't really know why.

i think it may be because i was listening to one of my favorite bands.

the night didn't start like that.

so, i pulled an all-nighter last night writing poems and doing other assorted work. as you can imagine, i was very tired this afternoon. i slept for a few hours, woke up, went to stop & shop, came back, and went to sleep again.

its about 9 pm now.

call some friends, you know, try to get the party started...

nobody really wants to hang out with me.

i go to the union to meet some people, they left, i came back, and watched forgetting sarah marshall. (not a bad movie, not good either.)

got a sandwich, and ate it in the art building illegally with my good time buddy and roommate, justin. 

we headed back, turned on the velvet underground, and at two fucking thirty in the morning, i open my first and only beer of the night.

as i sat in the living room, with the distorted guitars singing, watching justin fall asleep in his chair, i realized that the night was not a complete waste.

i just smiled and sipped on my pabst.

learn to find the simple pleasures in life, leefers.

'cause guess what? people aren't that great.

they love you one day, hate you the next, and forget about you the third.

its almost five in the morning, and im going to have a cigarette before bed.

be good leefers

if you love me, gimme a call

if you hate me, gimme a call

if you don't know me, you're lucky i guess

-Jizzy T

house of nudes

house of nudes

good name for a strip club

just saying

getting to the good stuff, my insomnia is catching up with me, I was up till 5-6 last night and I didn't wake up this morning.

missed class.

not good.

gotta study for exam friday.

not going to be hard, but may very well ruin my thurday night.

dammit, i won't let it!

in an attempt to save myself from this fate, i tried to have a party tonight.

got some booze for meself, started making calls.

everyone else had an exam thurday, or a paper due.

my plan was destroyed.

luckily, i had plan "b"

hehehehe

PLAN B: get drunk by myself and then yell at people over the internet/phone

mission accomplished

drank some beers.

got kinda buzzed.

got kinda hungry.

i mentioned that my drunk ass was heading over to subway, and my luck finally kicked in.

some hub pals were happy to accompany me.

they were also happy to have me go into thier building and yell at people in the hallway and offer them cigarettes, food, and drinks.

long (boring) story short: got drunk, yelled at people

yeah.

good way to spend a wednesday night.

pretty much caught up in all my work for my classes, which is good.

the only things looming are the aforementioned exam, and i gotta write a poem for friday.

my creative writing class.

3 people who really annoy me

#1. Mr. "I've read poetry before, allow me to namedrop furiously."

#1 is an annoying dude.

i really hate namedropping without the knowledge to back it up.

dude can name shitloads of authors and poems, but he cant write for shit, and half the time, doesn't show up for class. 

fuck em.

#2. Miss. "I know nothing of poetry, but I use wikipedia and asskissing to attempt to get an "A" and make everyone else look like shit."

#2 is equally annoying.

shes hot, which makes me even more mad when she spews some bullshit interpretation that she got off the internet.

she also hands in work DAYS in advance, and makes literally the entire class look like fuck ups.

our TA has mentioned this several times in class.

again, this person's poetry reflects their personality: shitty.

fuck em.

#3. Mr. "i'm taking this class as a gen-ed, so i'm going to intentionally write shitty poetry and add nothing to class discussion. all i need is a passing grade in this shit."

#3 is by far my favorite of the three.

although he may clog up discussion and workshop with his apathy, most of the time i don't have to deal with his shitty attitude.

he also writes doo-doo poetry, but so utterly unlikable, it makes mine look awesome by comparison. keep it up #3.

i take that back.

fuck em.

that may have been a harsh rant, but in a class setting like that, dealing with these annoying people have driven me to the brink of insanity.

literally.

to the brink.

need more tobacco, and heres your treat for being sooooooo super good

MUSIC

ah, dammit

shame on a leefer who tries to run game on a leefer

-Jizzy T

hand?

so, my leefers.

hand? will be playing another epic show.

a show that is at the worst venue in CT

(and possibly the world)

you guessed it

THE WEBSTER UNDERGROUND!!!

anyway, we gotta get our shit together before the show.

so expect less blogs and more indie rock.

im going to keep this post short, but at some point i will post a link to the facebook event

keeping this in mind, by me linking to facebook, my real name will be revealed!

shitdamns

gotta exam on friday, and i then i have my room to myself the entire weekend.

my roommate is going home.

i think i'll go home at some point, but it will be more for band practice than anything else.

however, i did speak to both of my parents today, and had two pleasant conversations.

they're good people.

aight

dats it for today

i think im going to drink beer in the library now

eat some cereal, watch some voltron

-Jizzy T

please please please

oh, golly leefers.

what a crazy day.

just kidding.

nothing happened.

this post will be devoted, now, to a topic that i do not often write about.

drugs and alcohol.

ok, maybe i talk about them a little bit.

anyway, let me premise this by saying that i have friends that do every drug, and will drink until their stomach explodes out of thier mouth.

that being said, i have my own opinions on the subject.

i have experimented with a few drugs, and i sure as hell drink alcohol, but what is the fascination with them?

why do i see my peers abuse these substances on a daily basis?

is it the only way to get by for them?

is it simply better than sober living?

i have no idea.

i drink, i smoke, and i've been known to toke on occasion.

but you know what?

i fucking know that i can take the stress of life unassisted.

people who have to smoke every day to deal with their own life are just escapists.

the movie "into the wild" should be called, "pussies run away"

if you can't stand the world that you live in, make your own world.

don't let some fucking drug blind you to the world you live in.

you're still trapped.

so drink up, smoke up, and inject away.

but keep this in mind.

are you free? or are you unable to see the cage around you?

glad thats over.

i need a drink after that rant.

so i've discovered that very few people in my life really know me.

if you're reading this, you might know me pretty good.

but thats the point. it's an experiment.

this blog. experimental. yeah.

i met some people who really seem like they could mean alot to me, but i'm not quite sure i can/should express this to them.

i mean, if i said, "hey, i don't even have to try to like you."

is that creepy? and if yes, is it creepier to think it and not say it?

damn, this is hard.

it's just hard to express genuine graditude these days.

and by these days, i mean today, the only day i know.

"shut your damn mouth"

-justin bacco

he's wise

so ill do that

nite leefers

oh yeah

MUSIC

you're not the sum of your parts, are you?

-Jizzy T

drum

LEEFERS!!!

oh how i've missed you.

over the weekend we get seperated and i miss you something terrible.

i would like to say that this blog "updates daily," but that would be pretty much an outright lie.

granted, i write close to a blog every day, but i know popular sites that claim to be "updating daily" or "new posts every week!" but seem to update whenever its done.

lets just say this.

i update this blog as often as i can.

ok, cool.

this weekend was pretty much a train wreak.

a beautiful, beautiful train wreak.

let me put it this way.

DRINKING / WOMEN

those things don't really mix that well, but the unusual thing is that you never realize how silly you are until later. for example, my behavior on friday would have warranted a beating or arrest under normal circumstances. fortunately (unfortunately) for me, everyone was very drunk.

therefore, my ignorant and rude actions were accepted as the norm, and the sober people kinda just pressed their backs again the wall and tried to get what they could.

thats a huge embellishment on what actually happened.

thats ok, though.

you guys (girls) are smart.

you get the idea.

drunk people have fun at their own expense.

sober people have fun at each others expense.

that may have been profound.

i can't really tell.

got class tomorrow, but i'll spare you the small talk that every fucking anti-social bastard spews at you when you meet them.

"what's up?"

"how've you been?"

"what classes are you taking this semester?"

"where are you living?"

THE WORST

"did you go to the game last night?"

heres some better questions that will allow you to disrupt and confuse a normal person

while also getting to know them

"do you always match your underwear to your outfit?"

"what kind of toothpaste do you use?"

"when was the last time you peed in the shower?"

"handjob or blowjob?" (if a chick, giving, if a guy, receiving) (adjust for homosexuals)

some good shit here.

these are free, but i got some questions that i don't break out until i meet a really uptight motherfucker.

i am working on a porn review website with a good friend of mine at uconn.

its not quite up yet, but i think that it may be the greatest thing ever.

check it out if you love porn.

anyway, i gotta have a cigg and then go to bed soon.

speaking of ciggs, i roll my own. i know, its pretty hipster.

fuck you.

i use DRUM tobacco, which is really harsh, but if you smoke and want to try a cheaper and better alternative to commercial cigarettes, check DRUM out.

also, AMERICAN SPIRIT ORGANIC aint bad either.

also, beard judging tomorrow.

wish me luck, i need it.

my beard grew alot slower than remember, but thicker.

weird, but another week and it'll be sexy as fuck.

have a pleasant evening leefers, you all are too nice. also, MUSIC.

-Jizzy T

snack culture

hey leefers
had an exam and a quiz yesterday
got another exam today
need a pabst, can't have one till tonight
its not a good situation

anyway, this weekend will consist of little more than me getting fucked up all the damn time.
which is ok
because i'm an adult now
i can buy my own insurance and everything
so take that, bastards

i'm just not going to talk about the exam
because you all know my pain
i don't need to double-inflict it

anders created this fun idea
its when you try to make snacks sound like drugs
i'll give a few popular examples

"gettin' pizzafaced" - eating pizza
"cheezin" - eating cheez-its
"popping tops" - eating pringles
"RTFF" - a rootie tootie fresh 'n' fruity at IHOP
"OCP" - oatmeal cream pie

anyway, you get the idea
i just thought i'd share that with you
becasue i want you to suffer only when i say so
which isn't right now

well, this will be a fun weekend (gettin' pizzafaced)
so wish me luck in everything
anders may be coming up
so you know shits poppin' off

MUSIC

cuz yer makin me feel
lik a zombie
-Jizzy T

emo blog

do you think this blog is for your amusement?
i should have stated that clearly at the beginning.
its not.
its for me. and by me i mean this...

i hope people love reading my blog as much as i love writing it. if the content offends, or just does not suit your taste, or you hate blogs and have chosen mine to be the object of your hatred (i'm flattered) please stop reading and do something else. please.

that said, if you enjoy reading my blog, or find it the least bit interesting, good.

today i wasted away in class and in my room, until i found it was about 6 pm. another day wasted doing nothing. you'll find that alot in my life.
it makes the great days even greater, though.
you gotta have perspective in life. perspective makes nothingness into somethingness

"Life has no meaning a priori … It is up to you to give it a meaning, and value is nothing but the meaning that you choose."

- Jean-Paul Sartre

if you don't know Sartre, check him out. he's cool.
(he wrote no exit, which is a fucking terrifying piece of fiction)

in summary,
life has no meaning, unless you give it meaning.
there...existentialism class dismissed.

im also taking advantage of laundry being free for a few days while the system is reconfigured.
this is good.
however, now the laundry rooms are even more crowded than they ever were before.
hooray.
not that i care waiting until now ( 3am ) to do my laundry and STILL waiting for a machine
its cool.
gives me time to blog, which means more content for you!

its a good time to be a leefer, huh?

big news today, i deleted over 200 gigs of porn from my computer.
i know, i am a sick pervert.
but really, it was 200 gigs that i rarely look at, and alot of it was garbage anyway.
also, it not like i can't get select ones back.
right? (sign of an addict)
it was more of a "status" thing than anything else. i mean, friends get jealous when they see you have more storage devoted to porn than they have on their entire computer.
at least my friends do.

what will i use that space for? i'm not entirely sure.
probably something far less useful than porn.

i have laundry to recover, and i might actually do work that i have due.
nah, i'm gonna go smoke a cig.

till next time, stay beafy my leefies
-Jizzy T

homebrew (not what you think, but yeah, that too)

i just got back from a homebrew technology meeting at uconn
it was enlightening
if you are a student at uconn, check it out (mondays at 7pm at ITE 119)

meanwhile, i sit here waiting for my roommate to stop shitting for an hour so i can take a goddamn piss. is that too much information? if poop offends, please stop reading this blog now, and seek psychiatric help. thanks.

monday, fucking best day of the week. why? its the first, and thats gotta count for something. also, its when you make the plans for the rest of the week.

my side project with anders is taking an interesting turn. we have decided to become an electronica-ish..........thing. as soon as we are done with something, i'll link you to it, leefers.
i write the beats, he writes the beeps and blips, then we scream.

sorry for the lack of a post yesterday (for the HARDxxxCORE leefers) I just....forgot...i guess
whatever
I got drunk and wrote summore poetry, and i think it was good. It may not get workshopped, so i only have the prestigious jason labbe to evaluate my work. he's pretty smart. although, he claims that i do not hand in work. LIES.

eh. for those of you whom i know personally (maybe everyone?) please let me know what your plans for the end of this week are. i have 2 exams and i need to unwind after/before/during. unwind is a fancy term that means get drunk and smoke alot. just to clarify.

i always have trouble ending these posts...so i'm going to be avant-garde and just do this.

(crackle crackle)
-Jizzy T

fuck yeah...fuck yeah

so this weekend went almost how i expected
john received his present (a human) and was very excited, but i feel like getting him something else, too

anders came up friday and saturday night, and we partied.
tonight, however, was almost ruined by some thirsty freshman who rolled up on me in my room, and demanded alcohol. i gave them some, and with encouragement from my roommates, i then kicked them out, with little or no booze. so, then they left and i was left with anders, ren, and myself.

the night continued when everyone left and i began playing (VIDEO GAME)
i will not go into detail about this now, or ever.
ALMS FOR THE POOR?

ahem.
lastly, i am here, now, eating a bean burrito (refrigerated) and blogging.
not much to say about the party, except that it was much like any other, albeit i was very drunk
but i also dominated beer pong
a fair trade-off

ok, i am keeping up john and natalia with my furious typing, so i leave you with this, leefers...
how many commas are too many?

fuck you all, please dont leave
-Jizzy T

some kinda count dracula shit

tomorrow it happens
the celebration of the birth of John Thomas Wetmore at Count Zalucky Manor
aka
some kinda count dracula shit (credit: anders)

well, this will be the crowning achievement of our non-existent labors
booze, bitches, beer, balls, balls (the other kind,) beards, bears, buttholes, bullshit
were gunna have it all
and all we wanna do is party
party and bullshit

i am pretty excited for this party
it might take my mind off of things for the time being
things that are on my mind that need to be relieved:

1. a romantic situation that involves an asshole boyfriend standing in my way
2. probably 5 more situations exactly like #1
3. i havent gotten drunk all week (this is a crime)
4. classes are making me crazy, although i am not really behind
5. not sure where i am going with this whole "college" thing
6. confucius is a dickhead, and yet, people who have never read his work praise him
7. see # 1
8. i forgot what 8 was for
9. a lost god
10. everything everything everything everything

laying it all out there.
thats what beaf leef is all about, baby
i'll treat you right
or wrong (if you're into that)

anyway, i cant think of a better thing to do before a night of binge drinking than...

ALL NIGHTER!!!

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhoooooooooooooooo!!!!

here's a paradox, how am i not myself?

my weak fat body has almost recovered from last weekend
this time i will try to fight less people
and less walls
you cant beat a wall in a fight

but you can stalemate
think about that

some girl totally checked my out today
she was so obvious in her check-out, that i thought i might have known her
but i didnt
i thought she was going to stop
but she didnt, and then i was like, "did you guys see that?"
anyway, small boost of my self-esteem that was much needed
but then plummeted back down when i realized that i didnt take the opportunity
oh, well
oh, hell

finally, i have resolved that i will find a lady friend before the end of the semester
or not
im not a fucking prophet
goddamn

MUSIC
MOVIE

that was easier than being subtle

have a great night leefers
i won't

somebody pinch(punch) me
-Jizzy T

ILL

i feel pretty sick today. i went to class, and found that i just
didn't
want
to be
there.

my roommate infected me with some horrifying disease that i can't describe. we aren't sure that they are independent form each other, though. so we are keeping our distance, lest the two viruses bond together in a voltron-esce manner. ewwwh.

so when i got back i played some video games and took a nap, in which i had a very vivid dream, which i cannot remember now. sorry, leefers, but try to imagine the most graphic images strewn together with rainbows. seriously, IMAGINE IT. DON'T FUCK WITH ME! DO IT!


--------------begin music elitism-----------------

in response to an article i read today,
R&B is not a real genre of music. seriously, it's not. Ne-Yo, stop complaining that nobody takes you seriously. it's not politics, it's your music, it's boring and is a continual rip-off of other genres. but put together in a much shittier way. i'll stand by this comment, try me.
also, M.I.A. sucks. yes, i have heard her other (non-paper planes) music. is it better than that clash-ripping-off piece of shit single? yes. is it good? no.

please, argue with me, because i know that i'm right (for once).
and don't say it's a matter of opinion. that's not an argument.

--------------end music elitism-----------------

i had to warn you people out there who might not be able to handle my wrath. it's not that i don't think you can handle it, actually, but i definitely don't deserve it. that's for sure.

i'm thinking of a present for one of my roommates (who hopefully doesn't read this blog) and i think i am going to get him something that is pabst related. but i can't say for sure what. ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
i miss anime.
seriously, that was a random thought, but all i can think about today is Being John Malkovich, anime, and Sonic Youth

they are plaguing my mind. i didn't link to any anime, because my official stance on the matter is that i have watched it but i don't "watch it." which is mostly true. if you wanna check out an anime, check out FLCL. dat shits dope. speaking of ebonics, i was proofreading a paper by a classmate in creatice writing I, and i wrote, "break up dis line, yo."

i didn't know that the young lady who wrote the poem was black. the poem was about jesus, and i thought she might be offended by my choice to use ebonics. so now there is a huge scratch-out on the paper. great. i'm sure i could have justified my use of ebonics, but i realized that i just didn't want to offend anyone. esspeacially since her poem got fucking torn to pieces in workshop. i mean, damn.


anyway, i am now going to do something. WHO KNOWS WHAT?

being beaf leefers,
-Jizzy T

leper colony

first off, i am now living in a leper colony. LIVING.

i'm not even going to explain that. i am living in a leper colony, that's it.

that's it.

ok, so, second post of the day, so that means i was extra bored. i got to lecture people about music today, and it made me feel depressed. they said something along the lines of,

"WOW!YOU R OBSESSED WIF MUSIC!!!!1!U SHUD BE ON TRL!!!!!!!LOL!!!!!"

(authors note: this was said in real life)

anyway, i felt like a douche afterwards, during, and even before that happened, so thats just, just real cool.

band practice may have derailed.
here's the quick rundown.

ANDERS ,REN, AND PRACTICE SPACE @ CCSU
(25 minute car ride)
JIZZY T @ UCONN

yeah, so i need to get rides to practice, because i have no car on campus. because i can't. because i'm not allowed. by the university.

anders and ren both have cars, but never want to go back and forth twice in one day. i must admit, it is stupid. this leaves me with two options.

1. beg one of my already depressed roommates into driving, sitting through, and driving me back from practice.
2. no practice

so that leaves me in a dilemma. but not really. my roommates and i already went on a 5 hour road trip this past weekend, and we are in no condition (mentally or financially) to do any traveling.

oh, well. there's always vacation.

also, don't tell anybody, but........................................................

prop yourselves up, tomorrow hits with twice the force of today
-Jizzy T (the lonely musician)

the anderslands forever!

hey leefers

today was ok.
short story:

got up
went to class
came back
did stuff
fire drill (cigarette)
back here
tried to lure people to my dorm to keep me company
consoled my sick roomates

long story: so my cousin and good time pal Anders finally discovered the beautiful world of blogs.
he might be a little shy now, but give him time, and you will come to love him, as i have. good, good.

this website fucking rocks too.

i hope you like the new layout, it took me like 10 whole minutes to do.
yes, that is a real drawing of myself at the top there. if you see a guy that looks like that in real life, please suck his dick. because even if it isn't me, i mean, the guy's not gonna be mad.

i have now discovered a new guilty pleasure, Epoxies.
they are good. it makes me happy. don't you want to be happy?

pardon the extreme lack of other media on this website. i don't have a camera, and i don't really feel like sharing my likeness with you fools anyway (even though most of you know me anyway.)

oh! one last thing. if anyone can tell me ALT is?
i think i know. but i think that means that i dont know anything.

are pieces of metal ALT?

i
d
k

ok, try your hardest leefers
-Jizzy T

breakdown

yup, mental breakdown today.
don't be alarmed leefers (that's my pet name for you) it wasn't anything major.
i just got carried away with my emotions and ended up spending three hours staring at a wall in my room and smoking too many cigarettes. its all good, though.

i was stressed out today because i am lacking in the creativity department lately. nothing good has come out of my mind in at least a week. as far as i'm concerned, it's due mostly to my complete and utter lack of an identity or any type of community i'm aware of. i have friends here at uconn (you all better be reading this blog, you bastards) but none of them really give me the sense that i am part of anything. i'm not asking for a social revolution (it wouldn't hurt...) but i want some kind of way for me to get inspiration. day to day living has made my brain paste. sweet, delicious, useless paste.

HAND? may have a practice wednesday
its in the works (the what?)
speaking of which, i have no fucking idea where HAND? is going right now.
i think the path to greatness is to sign up for shows when you are clearly unprepared, and thusly force yourself to write new material. but, then you run the risk of being vastly out of practice for the show (see last show)

oh well, i love anders and ren, so things can never really be bad. plus, i'm too fucking young to give up on things like this now. i see people fall into place when then are young, and i just imagine how much of a meaningless hell their future will be.

on that note, i think this blog is over, soooooooooooo, yeah
nope, i lied. this had to be mentioned.

(it's ren's other band. they make noise. also, their site looks better than mine does.)


(guess what i use too much of [it's not hard])

i hope somebody doesn't read anything i write at my funeral
-Jizzy T

bender

it's goddamn 6 in the morning.
why?

why do i stay up all night and sleep in the afternoon after class
i miss seeing my friends
i miss when things are open and happenin'

i'll tell you why
i am fucking ignorant
i don't think before i act, and i don't give a fuck about anything

if anything works out in my life, its because i got lucky
that, or perhaps somewhere in my brain there is a desire to pursue it
those feeling are purely subliminal, though

anyway, my beard's growing in pretty nice now
it's gonna look pretty high school-ish for awhile now, but thats ok
it's not like i have a girlfriend

speaking of which, i don't know why, but i have a desire for a serious relationship now
i'm trying (deeply) to stifle this, but i can't help but feel like there is a girl for me out there
it's creepy
i really don't like thinking like that
i mean, i keep thinking that, and then, like 5 months later, i'm like,
"that was a mistake, i'm not ready"
then as soon as i'm over it, i'm right back where i was

anyway, gotta sleep, i guess
class tomorrow
fun fun fun fun fun

p.s. to the girl in my creative writing class

stop fucking with me
i hear you smugly mocking me and acting superior
fuck that
i also see you hitting on me (not as subtle as you planned?)
anyway, if you think i'm a dick, stop talking
nobody is listening
if you're interested in me, subtly insulting me will get you nowhere
also, you're not hot enough to be as big of an asshole as you are
cut that shit out


i have emotional problems
-Jizzy T