breakdown

yup, mental breakdown today.
don't be alarmed leefers (that's my pet name for you) it wasn't anything major.
i just got carried away with my emotions and ended up spending three hours staring at a wall in my room and smoking too many cigarettes. its all good, though.

i was stressed out today because i am lacking in the creativity department lately. nothing good has come out of my mind in at least a week. as far as i'm concerned, it's due mostly to my complete and utter lack of an identity or any type of community i'm aware of. i have friends here at uconn (you all better be reading this blog, you bastards) but none of them really give me the sense that i am part of anything. i'm not asking for a social revolution (it wouldn't hurt...) but i want some kind of way for me to get inspiration. day to day living has made my brain paste. sweet, delicious, useless paste.

HAND? may have a practice wednesday
its in the works (the what?)
speaking of which, i have no fucking idea where HAND? is going right now.
i think the path to greatness is to sign up for shows when you are clearly unprepared, and thusly force yourself to write new material. but, then you run the risk of being vastly out of practice for the show (see last show)

oh well, i love anders and ren, so things can never really be bad. plus, i'm too fucking young to give up on things like this now. i see people fall into place when then are young, and i just imagine how much of a meaningless hell their future will be.

on that note, i think this blog is over, soooooooooooo, yeah
nope, i lied. this had to be mentioned.

(it's ren's other band. they make noise. also, their site looks better than mine does.)


(guess what i use too much of [it's not hard])

i hope somebody doesn't read anything i write at my funeral
-Jizzy T