paranoid insomniac goes for a walk

Smoke obscures my vision,

as I force myself not to turn around

Fists clench as cold sweat traces routes down my face

I draw on the cigarette and its glow reveals trembling fingers

How can you be sure you’re really alone?

Pupils pinched in the corners of my eyes

Each breath is a test of restraint

My head spinning, I try again to rationalize

What is the fear of fear?

Wind obscures the music of movement

At the end of my limb, a clock.

Burning down

But still too long to stifle my imagination

Gravel grinds under my heels

I face the background once more

For a moment, my mind relaxes

Streetlights hiss endlessly, basking in omnipotence

Weathered wood creaks and caresses my neck

My mind still barks orders

(A battered lonely madman)

My body rebels

(A smiling glutton)

Eyelids collapse and I am awash in memory

Outlaw moments fill my head, vying for attention

I won’t let the bad ones win

I’m God tonight

For once, I’m not empty

Introduce these thoughts to order

Like many, my reign ends in fire

The hot, smug renegade dies below me

My mortal mind awakens

I’m reminded quickly of my worldly troubles

My freedom is gone

It becomes just another empty bottle

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