Smoke obscures my vision,
as I force myself not to turn around
Fists clench as cold sweat traces routes down my face
I draw on the cigarette and its glow reveals trembling fingers
How can you be sure you’re really alone?
Pupils pinched in the corners of my eyes
Each breath is a test of restraint
My head spinning, I try again to rationalize
What is the fear of fear?
Wind obscures the music of movement
At the end of my limb, a clock.
Burning down
But still too long to stifle my imagination
Gravel grinds under my heels
I face the background once more
For a moment, my mind relaxes
Streetlights hiss endlessly, basking in omnipotence
Weathered wood creaks and caresses my neck
My mind still barks orders
(A battered lonely madman)
My body rebels
(A smiling glutton)
Eyelids collapse and I am awash in memory
Outlaw moments fill my head, vying for attention
I won’t let the bad ones win
I’m God tonight
For once, I’m not empty
Introduce these thoughts to order
Like many, my reign ends in fire
The hot, smug renegade dies below me
My mortal mind awakens
I’m reminded quickly of my worldly troubles
My freedom is gone
It becomes just another empty bottle
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