hand?

so, my leefers.

hand? will be playing another epic show.

a show that is at the worst venue in CT

(and possibly the world)

you guessed it

THE WEBSTER UNDERGROUND!!!

anyway, we gotta get our shit together before the show.

so expect less blogs and more indie rock.

im going to keep this post short, but at some point i will post a link to the facebook event

keeping this in mind, by me linking to facebook, my real name will be revealed!

shitdamns

gotta exam on friday, and i then i have my room to myself the entire weekend.

my roommate is going home.

i think i'll go home at some point, but it will be more for band practice than anything else.

however, i did speak to both of my parents today, and had two pleasant conversations.

they're good people.

aight

dats it for today

i think im going to drink beer in the library now

eat some cereal, watch some voltron

-Jizzy T

please please please

oh, golly leefers.

what a crazy day.

just kidding.

nothing happened.

this post will be devoted, now, to a topic that i do not often write about.

drugs and alcohol.

ok, maybe i talk about them a little bit.

anyway, let me premise this by saying that i have friends that do every drug, and will drink until their stomach explodes out of thier mouth.

that being said, i have my own opinions on the subject.

i have experimented with a few drugs, and i sure as hell drink alcohol, but what is the fascination with them?

why do i see my peers abuse these substances on a daily basis?

is it the only way to get by for them?

is it simply better than sober living?

i have no idea.

i drink, i smoke, and i've been known to toke on occasion.

but you know what?

i fucking know that i can take the stress of life unassisted.

people who have to smoke every day to deal with their own life are just escapists.

the movie "into the wild" should be called, "pussies run away"

if you can't stand the world that you live in, make your own world.

don't let some fucking drug blind you to the world you live in.

you're still trapped.

so drink up, smoke up, and inject away.

but keep this in mind.

are you free? or are you unable to see the cage around you?

glad thats over.

i need a drink after that rant.

so i've discovered that very few people in my life really know me.

if you're reading this, you might know me pretty good.

but thats the point. it's an experiment.

this blog. experimental. yeah.

i met some people who really seem like they could mean alot to me, but i'm not quite sure i can/should express this to them.

i mean, if i said, "hey, i don't even have to try to like you."

is that creepy? and if yes, is it creepier to think it and not say it?

damn, this is hard.

it's just hard to express genuine graditude these days.

and by these days, i mean today, the only day i know.

"shut your damn mouth"

-justin bacco

he's wise

so ill do that

nite leefers

oh yeah

MUSIC

you're not the sum of your parts, are you?

-Jizzy T

drum

LEEFERS!!!

oh how i've missed you.

over the weekend we get seperated and i miss you something terrible.

i would like to say that this blog "updates daily," but that would be pretty much an outright lie.

granted, i write close to a blog every day, but i know popular sites that claim to be "updating daily" or "new posts every week!" but seem to update whenever its done.

lets just say this.

i update this blog as often as i can.

ok, cool.

this weekend was pretty much a train wreak.

a beautiful, beautiful train wreak.

let me put it this way.

DRINKING / WOMEN

those things don't really mix that well, but the unusual thing is that you never realize how silly you are until later. for example, my behavior on friday would have warranted a beating or arrest under normal circumstances. fortunately (unfortunately) for me, everyone was very drunk.

therefore, my ignorant and rude actions were accepted as the norm, and the sober people kinda just pressed their backs again the wall and tried to get what they could.

thats a huge embellishment on what actually happened.

thats ok, though.

you guys (girls) are smart.

you get the idea.

drunk people have fun at their own expense.

sober people have fun at each others expense.

that may have been profound.

i can't really tell.

got class tomorrow, but i'll spare you the small talk that every fucking anti-social bastard spews at you when you meet them.

"what's up?"

"how've you been?"

"what classes are you taking this semester?"

"where are you living?"

THE WORST

"did you go to the game last night?"

heres some better questions that will allow you to disrupt and confuse a normal person

while also getting to know them

"do you always match your underwear to your outfit?"

"what kind of toothpaste do you use?"

"when was the last time you peed in the shower?"

"handjob or blowjob?" (if a chick, giving, if a guy, receiving) (adjust for homosexuals)

some good shit here.

these are free, but i got some questions that i don't break out until i meet a really uptight motherfucker.

i am working on a porn review website with a good friend of mine at uconn.

its not quite up yet, but i think that it may be the greatest thing ever.

check it out if you love porn.

anyway, i gotta have a cigg and then go to bed soon.

speaking of ciggs, i roll my own. i know, its pretty hipster.

fuck you.

i use DRUM tobacco, which is really harsh, but if you smoke and want to try a cheaper and better alternative to commercial cigarettes, check DRUM out.

also, AMERICAN SPIRIT ORGANIC aint bad either.

also, beard judging tomorrow.

wish me luck, i need it.

my beard grew alot slower than remember, but thicker.

weird, but another week and it'll be sexy as fuck.

have a pleasant evening leefers, you all are too nice. also, MUSIC.

-Jizzy T

snack culture

hey leefers
had an exam and a quiz yesterday
got another exam today
need a pabst, can't have one till tonight
its not a good situation

anyway, this weekend will consist of little more than me getting fucked up all the damn time.
which is ok
because i'm an adult now
i can buy my own insurance and everything
so take that, bastards

i'm just not going to talk about the exam
because you all know my pain
i don't need to double-inflict it

anders created this fun idea
its when you try to make snacks sound like drugs
i'll give a few popular examples

"gettin' pizzafaced" - eating pizza
"cheezin" - eating cheez-its
"popping tops" - eating pringles
"RTFF" - a rootie tootie fresh 'n' fruity at IHOP
"OCP" - oatmeal cream pie

anyway, you get the idea
i just thought i'd share that with you
becasue i want you to suffer only when i say so
which isn't right now

well, this will be a fun weekend (gettin' pizzafaced)
so wish me luck in everything
anders may be coming up
so you know shits poppin' off

MUSIC

cuz yer makin me feel
lik a zombie
-Jizzy T

emo blog

do you think this blog is for your amusement?
i should have stated that clearly at the beginning.
its not.
its for me. and by me i mean this...

i hope people love reading my blog as much as i love writing it. if the content offends, or just does not suit your taste, or you hate blogs and have chosen mine to be the object of your hatred (i'm flattered) please stop reading and do something else. please.

that said, if you enjoy reading my blog, or find it the least bit interesting, good.

today i wasted away in class and in my room, until i found it was about 6 pm. another day wasted doing nothing. you'll find that alot in my life.
it makes the great days even greater, though.
you gotta have perspective in life. perspective makes nothingness into somethingness

"Life has no meaning a priori … It is up to you to give it a meaning, and value is nothing but the meaning that you choose."

- Jean-Paul Sartre

if you don't know Sartre, check him out. he's cool.
(he wrote no exit, which is a fucking terrifying piece of fiction)

in summary,
life has no meaning, unless you give it meaning.
there...existentialism class dismissed.

im also taking advantage of laundry being free for a few days while the system is reconfigured.
this is good.
however, now the laundry rooms are even more crowded than they ever were before.
hooray.
not that i care waiting until now ( 3am ) to do my laundry and STILL waiting for a machine
its cool.
gives me time to blog, which means more content for you!

its a good time to be a leefer, huh?

big news today, i deleted over 200 gigs of porn from my computer.
i know, i am a sick pervert.
but really, it was 200 gigs that i rarely look at, and alot of it was garbage anyway.
also, it not like i can't get select ones back.
right? (sign of an addict)
it was more of a "status" thing than anything else. i mean, friends get jealous when they see you have more storage devoted to porn than they have on their entire computer.
at least my friends do.

what will i use that space for? i'm not entirely sure.
probably something far less useful than porn.

i have laundry to recover, and i might actually do work that i have due.
nah, i'm gonna go smoke a cig.

till next time, stay beafy my leefies
-Jizzy T

homebrew (not what you think, but yeah, that too)

i just got back from a homebrew technology meeting at uconn
it was enlightening
if you are a student at uconn, check it out (mondays at 7pm at ITE 119)

meanwhile, i sit here waiting for my roommate to stop shitting for an hour so i can take a goddamn piss. is that too much information? if poop offends, please stop reading this blog now, and seek psychiatric help. thanks.

monday, fucking best day of the week. why? its the first, and thats gotta count for something. also, its when you make the plans for the rest of the week.

my side project with anders is taking an interesting turn. we have decided to become an electronica-ish..........thing. as soon as we are done with something, i'll link you to it, leefers.
i write the beats, he writes the beeps and blips, then we scream.

sorry for the lack of a post yesterday (for the HARDxxxCORE leefers) I just....forgot...i guess
whatever
I got drunk and wrote summore poetry, and i think it was good. It may not get workshopped, so i only have the prestigious jason labbe to evaluate my work. he's pretty smart. although, he claims that i do not hand in work. LIES.

eh. for those of you whom i know personally (maybe everyone?) please let me know what your plans for the end of this week are. i have 2 exams and i need to unwind after/before/during. unwind is a fancy term that means get drunk and smoke alot. just to clarify.

i always have trouble ending these posts...so i'm going to be avant-garde and just do this.

(crackle crackle)
-Jizzy T

fuck yeah...fuck yeah

so this weekend went almost how i expected
john received his present (a human) and was very excited, but i feel like getting him something else, too

anders came up friday and saturday night, and we partied.
tonight, however, was almost ruined by some thirsty freshman who rolled up on me in my room, and demanded alcohol. i gave them some, and with encouragement from my roommates, i then kicked them out, with little or no booze. so, then they left and i was left with anders, ren, and myself.

the night continued when everyone left and i began playing (VIDEO GAME)
i will not go into detail about this now, or ever.
ALMS FOR THE POOR?

ahem.
lastly, i am here, now, eating a bean burrito (refrigerated) and blogging.
not much to say about the party, except that it was much like any other, albeit i was very drunk
but i also dominated beer pong
a fair trade-off

ok, i am keeping up john and natalia with my furious typing, so i leave you with this, leefers...
how many commas are too many?

fuck you all, please dont leave
-Jizzy T

some kinda count dracula shit

tomorrow it happens
the celebration of the birth of John Thomas Wetmore at Count Zalucky Manor
aka
some kinda count dracula shit (credit: anders)

well, this will be the crowning achievement of our non-existent labors
booze, bitches, beer, balls, balls (the other kind,) beards, bears, buttholes, bullshit
were gunna have it all
and all we wanna do is party
party and bullshit

i am pretty excited for this party
it might take my mind off of things for the time being
things that are on my mind that need to be relieved:

1. a romantic situation that involves an asshole boyfriend standing in my way
2. probably 5 more situations exactly like #1
3. i havent gotten drunk all week (this is a crime)
4. classes are making me crazy, although i am not really behind
5. not sure where i am going with this whole "college" thing
6. confucius is a dickhead, and yet, people who have never read his work praise him
7. see # 1
8. i forgot what 8 was for
9. a lost god
10. everything everything everything everything

laying it all out there.
thats what beaf leef is all about, baby
i'll treat you right
or wrong (if you're into that)

anyway, i cant think of a better thing to do before a night of binge drinking than...

ALL NIGHTER!!!

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhoooooooooooooooo!!!!

here's a paradox, how am i not myself?

my weak fat body has almost recovered from last weekend
this time i will try to fight less people
and less walls
you cant beat a wall in a fight

but you can stalemate
think about that

some girl totally checked my out today
she was so obvious in her check-out, that i thought i might have known her
but i didnt
i thought she was going to stop
but she didnt, and then i was like, "did you guys see that?"
anyway, small boost of my self-esteem that was much needed
but then plummeted back down when i realized that i didnt take the opportunity
oh, well
oh, hell

finally, i have resolved that i will find a lady friend before the end of the semester
or not
im not a fucking prophet
goddamn

MUSIC
MOVIE

that was easier than being subtle

have a great night leefers
i won't

somebody pinch(punch) me
-Jizzy T

ILL

i feel pretty sick today. i went to class, and found that i just
didn't
want
to be
there.

my roommate infected me with some horrifying disease that i can't describe. we aren't sure that they are independent form each other, though. so we are keeping our distance, lest the two viruses bond together in a voltron-esce manner. ewwwh.

so when i got back i played some video games and took a nap, in which i had a very vivid dream, which i cannot remember now. sorry, leefers, but try to imagine the most graphic images strewn together with rainbows. seriously, IMAGINE IT. DON'T FUCK WITH ME! DO IT!


--------------begin music elitism-----------------

in response to an article i read today,
R&B is not a real genre of music. seriously, it's not. Ne-Yo, stop complaining that nobody takes you seriously. it's not politics, it's your music, it's boring and is a continual rip-off of other genres. but put together in a much shittier way. i'll stand by this comment, try me.
also, M.I.A. sucks. yes, i have heard her other (non-paper planes) music. is it better than that clash-ripping-off piece of shit single? yes. is it good? no.

please, argue with me, because i know that i'm right (for once).
and don't say it's a matter of opinion. that's not an argument.

--------------end music elitism-----------------

i had to warn you people out there who might not be able to handle my wrath. it's not that i don't think you can handle it, actually, but i definitely don't deserve it. that's for sure.

i'm thinking of a present for one of my roommates (who hopefully doesn't read this blog) and i think i am going to get him something that is pabst related. but i can't say for sure what. ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
i miss anime.
seriously, that was a random thought, but all i can think about today is Being John Malkovich, anime, and Sonic Youth

they are plaguing my mind. i didn't link to any anime, because my official stance on the matter is that i have watched it but i don't "watch it." which is mostly true. if you wanna check out an anime, check out FLCL. dat shits dope. speaking of ebonics, i was proofreading a paper by a classmate in creatice writing I, and i wrote, "break up dis line, yo."

i didn't know that the young lady who wrote the poem was black. the poem was about jesus, and i thought she might be offended by my choice to use ebonics. so now there is a huge scratch-out on the paper. great. i'm sure i could have justified my use of ebonics, but i realized that i just didn't want to offend anyone. esspeacially since her poem got fucking torn to pieces in workshop. i mean, damn.


anyway, i am now going to do something. WHO KNOWS WHAT?

being beaf leefers,
-Jizzy T

leper colony

first off, i am now living in a leper colony. LIVING.

i'm not even going to explain that. i am living in a leper colony, that's it.

that's it.

ok, so, second post of the day, so that means i was extra bored. i got to lecture people about music today, and it made me feel depressed. they said something along the lines of,

"WOW!YOU R OBSESSED WIF MUSIC!!!!1!U SHUD BE ON TRL!!!!!!!LOL!!!!!"

(authors note: this was said in real life)

anyway, i felt like a douche afterwards, during, and even before that happened, so thats just, just real cool.

band practice may have derailed.
here's the quick rundown.

ANDERS ,REN, AND PRACTICE SPACE @ CCSU
(25 minute car ride)
JIZZY T @ UCONN

yeah, so i need to get rides to practice, because i have no car on campus. because i can't. because i'm not allowed. by the university.

anders and ren both have cars, but never want to go back and forth twice in one day. i must admit, it is stupid. this leaves me with two options.

1. beg one of my already depressed roommates into driving, sitting through, and driving me back from practice.
2. no practice

so that leaves me in a dilemma. but not really. my roommates and i already went on a 5 hour road trip this past weekend, and we are in no condition (mentally or financially) to do any traveling.

oh, well. there's always vacation.

also, don't tell anybody, but........................................................

prop yourselves up, tomorrow hits with twice the force of today
-Jizzy T (the lonely musician)

the anderslands forever!

hey leefers

today was ok.
short story:

got up
went to class
came back
did stuff
fire drill (cigarette)
back here
tried to lure people to my dorm to keep me company
consoled my sick roomates

long story: so my cousin and good time pal Anders finally discovered the beautiful world of blogs.
he might be a little shy now, but give him time, and you will come to love him, as i have. good, good.

this website fucking rocks too.

i hope you like the new layout, it took me like 10 whole minutes to do.
yes, that is a real drawing of myself at the top there. if you see a guy that looks like that in real life, please suck his dick. because even if it isn't me, i mean, the guy's not gonna be mad.

i have now discovered a new guilty pleasure, Epoxies.
they are good. it makes me happy. don't you want to be happy?

pardon the extreme lack of other media on this website. i don't have a camera, and i don't really feel like sharing my likeness with you fools anyway (even though most of you know me anyway.)

oh! one last thing. if anyone can tell me ALT is?
i think i know. but i think that means that i dont know anything.

are pieces of metal ALT?

i
d
k

ok, try your hardest leefers
-Jizzy T

breakdown

yup, mental breakdown today.
don't be alarmed leefers (that's my pet name for you) it wasn't anything major.
i just got carried away with my emotions and ended up spending three hours staring at a wall in my room and smoking too many cigarettes. its all good, though.

i was stressed out today because i am lacking in the creativity department lately. nothing good has come out of my mind in at least a week. as far as i'm concerned, it's due mostly to my complete and utter lack of an identity or any type of community i'm aware of. i have friends here at uconn (you all better be reading this blog, you bastards) but none of them really give me the sense that i am part of anything. i'm not asking for a social revolution (it wouldn't hurt...) but i want some kind of way for me to get inspiration. day to day living has made my brain paste. sweet, delicious, useless paste.

HAND? may have a practice wednesday
its in the works (the what?)
speaking of which, i have no fucking idea where HAND? is going right now.
i think the path to greatness is to sign up for shows when you are clearly unprepared, and thusly force yourself to write new material. but, then you run the risk of being vastly out of practice for the show (see last show)

oh well, i love anders and ren, so things can never really be bad. plus, i'm too fucking young to give up on things like this now. i see people fall into place when then are young, and i just imagine how much of a meaningless hell their future will be.

on that note, i think this blog is over, soooooooooooo, yeah
nope, i lied. this had to be mentioned.

(it's ren's other band. they make noise. also, their site looks better than mine does.)


(guess what i use too much of [it's not hard])

i hope somebody doesn't read anything i write at my funeral
-Jizzy T

bender

it's goddamn 6 in the morning.
why?

why do i stay up all night and sleep in the afternoon after class
i miss seeing my friends
i miss when things are open and happenin'

i'll tell you why
i am fucking ignorant
i don't think before i act, and i don't give a fuck about anything

if anything works out in my life, its because i got lucky
that, or perhaps somewhere in my brain there is a desire to pursue it
those feeling are purely subliminal, though

anyway, my beard's growing in pretty nice now
it's gonna look pretty high school-ish for awhile now, but thats ok
it's not like i have a girlfriend

speaking of which, i don't know why, but i have a desire for a serious relationship now
i'm trying (deeply) to stifle this, but i can't help but feel like there is a girl for me out there
it's creepy
i really don't like thinking like that
i mean, i keep thinking that, and then, like 5 months later, i'm like,
"that was a mistake, i'm not ready"
then as soon as i'm over it, i'm right back where i was

anyway, gotta sleep, i guess
class tomorrow
fun fun fun fun fun

p.s. to the girl in my creative writing class

stop fucking with me
i hear you smugly mocking me and acting superior
fuck that
i also see you hitting on me (not as subtle as you planned?)
anyway, if you think i'm a dick, stop talking
nobody is listening
if you're interested in me, subtly insulting me will get you nowhere
also, you're not hot enough to be as big of an asshole as you are
cut that shit out


i have emotional problems
-Jizzy T

high school weekend

this weekend was really shitty. i honestly don't even know why i didn't blog all weekend. it just didn't occur to me. oh well.

two of my roommates left for the weekend, and left john and myself alone with nothing to do. we could not even afford alcohol, and the one night it was offered to us free of charge, it was a 20-minute walk in the rain away. so yeah, fuck that shit. spent most the time playing video games or watching john play video games. this was the kind of weekend that reminded you of high school, when there wasn't very much to do, and you had no car or booze or bitches. then you remember how much that sucked. then you want to kill yourself.

this weekend aside, things have been pretty swell for ol' jizzy. HAND? played a show on thursday, and despite an evil soundguy and innumerable other problems, went over really fucking good. i was very happy with it. we recorded the set, but i entrusted the hard copy to anders. big mistake. literally within 24 hours it was lost. it may be retrieved eventually, but i highly doubt it.

i want to play another show soon (hopefully somewhere not so goddamn far away) but we need to write some more material. i mean, we don't have to. but we probably should. it would be a good idea to. so yeah.

i also shaved my facial hair yesterday for a beard-growing competition with some uconn people. i sacrificed the most hair to begin, so hopefully i will end up winning, or coming very close. i might even post some pictures of it in this blog. but maybe not.

as another week of classes loom over me, i ask, "where da party at?" because it certainly wasn't in our suite this weekend.

dance, my pretties
-Jizzy T