new lifestyle / ren-inspired post

i have realized that i now have entered into a new lifestyle.

in the past 2 years i have changed dramatically.

really and truly.

there's a lot to say about the physical changes (hair, clothes, pubes, etc.) that i've undergone, but my psychological changes are the most profound. i've been finding more and more wanting to do more relaxing activities.

reading.

writing.

filmz.

blogging.

music. (making and listening.)

i guess getting older means wanting to enjoy the things that you do and not just doing something to kill time. finally being able to amuse myself and keep occupied is a luxury that i never had in high school. i always wanted to be "doing" something. it didn't matter what.

i mean, in high school i never just sat down and listened to an entire album.

never just sitting and listening.

it's really relaxing.

i also think that i will always be bored.

i don't mean "bored with life" or "sick of it all" or anything like that, but i mean the general angsty kind of boredom. i'm slowly realizing that i have been born into a futureless society with no ambitions or dreams.

whatever.

i'm not going to give the "things change but things stay the same and are good and sometimes better" speech.

i'm laying in bed, naked, writing a blog on a laptop.

i would not have done this two years ago.

that's all i'm saying here.

i like things better now.

-Jizzy T